12 Steps to Happiness

12 Steps to Happiness

12 Steps to Happiness ~ small changes, big results

There are a few things I’ve learned in my 43 years from ”people who know”. Life skills, people skills and key skills to improving my happiness. Simple steps to make small changes that had big results. The Universe responds to the energy that you give out, and then sends you more of the same. So we should be sending out the highest vibration we can manage, the good vibes, all the luck and the happiness and the gratitude we can muster, then we receive more of the same. if you’re feeling low and the world around you seems to conspire to make you more miserable, maybe it’s time to change what you send out there. Here’s my guide to the skills I learned that really do improve your vibration and your happiness. It makes even the hardest day more bearable. What are you waiting for?……

Treat happiness like a habit not an end goal ~Let happiness become a daily habit, actively look for what you can do to become happier every day. The more effort you put in the more you get out of it.

Master the art of listening ~ we all want to be heard, plus you never know what you might learn by listening before you speak. Allow people the time to express themselves, they will naturally do the same for you in return.

Learn to love waking up ~ That’s what morning rituals are for. Forget productivity. It’s about looking forward to the dawn of a new day. Have your cup of tea, do your yoga or meditation, read. Whatever makes you happy for your feet to touch the ground when you wake up. ( Admittedly i’m still working on this one!!)

Be grateful ~ an attitude of gratitude. If you are grateful right now for what you have, the Universe will send more for you to be grateful for. It raises your vibrations an incredible amount and it’s so simple. It really makes you feel good too. See my article on Gratitude/Happiness Journals

Hug ~ Virginia Satir, a family therapist, suggests we need four hugs a day for survival, eight for maintenance, and twelve for growth.  It’s hard to overdose on hugs. Be a hugger, but please don’t just randomly accost people!

Adopt a giving mentality ~ remember what you send out comes back, share it, give it and do it for the right reasons. Give to charity shops, clear out your clutter and turn it into treasure for someone else, make room for more in your life and you will become more abundant. ( Plus your house is tidier and your energy improves from that alone! ) Help people out by using your skills for free. The same will come back to you. You increase the other persons worth and value and that has to be a good reason for doing anything in itself. Give it, love it and see what happens.

Have a mindful meal at least once a day ~ There’s so much going on in our everyday lives that we inevitably end up multitasking all our meals, we have breakfast on the bus watching traffic go by or we have dinner in front of the TV. Whenever we do that, we don’t taste the food, we probably don’t savour each bite, and we often don’t feel full because the meal went by too quickly. Try eating one meal without distractions, Dump the phone, switch off the TV, enjoy the colours, tastes, textures and fragrance, eat slowly, and enjoy every spoonful. Appreciate the goodness and nourishment, and realise how blessed you are to have such good food to keep your body healthy and happy.

Always acknowledge the good, spread the good vibes ~ Spread a little positivity. When you like something, say you like it. When your friends make you happy, say ‘You make me happy.’ When your co-worker does a good job, say ‘Thank you, good job.’ Negative people are louder, but not the majority. Give a compliment, tell someone they look good, it raises their vibration too. Share the kindness and the happiness. See how it can change a small environment really quickly, particularly if you work in an office or space with others.

Meditate for 15 minutes a day at least ~ Meditation has a myriad of positive health benefits that can improve your mental state, outlook, energy, and lifestyle.. One study led by the University of Massachusetts Medical School taught mindfulness to a group of people with clinical levels of anxiety and found that 90% experienced significant reductions in anxiety and depression. Not only that, but meditation has also been found to improve insomnia, decrease the risk of cardiovascular disease, relieve pain, enhance relationships, and increase your productivity. So if you}re serious about turning your life around, meditation is a good place to start. As little as a minute of slow, deep breathing calms you down and lowers blood pressure, and just a few minutes per day delivers an incredible return on investment. When I first began meditating at 17, I counted the number of breaths, and worked my way up to 10 without distraction, it’s harder than it sounds but I looked on it as a challenge. Do whatever it takes to get started, and eventually you’ll come to love the internal benefits of feeling calm and being better able to control your emotions.

Learn from those around you ~ Look around , you are surrounded by innumerable examples, ideas, words, wisdom, mistakes and experiences, plus experts in many things, there’s a lesson to be learned from everyone, absorb as much as you can, it saves you learning it all yourself, the long way around, when you learn from others.

Ask questions ~ my dad always used to say never be afraid of being the one with your hand up to ask a question, everyone else will probably be wishing they were brave enough to ask because they didn’t know the answer either. Asking questions is how you learn, simply. As someone who teaches, I can honestly tell you there’s no such thing as a stupid question, I want people to ask, what I don’t want is for someone to go home none the wiser! Ask and keep asking until you have all of the information that you need. If that fails, google it!

Re evaluate and reshuffle your social circle ~cull negative people around you, negative friendships are draining, exhausting, and bad for your personal health. Why would you want to waste what little time you have in life on someone who makes you feel bad, sad or doesn’t think you’re worth the effort.It’s hard to realize when you’re in it, but the weight of these friendships is a heavy burden to bear. It’s not until you cull them that you understand. You’ll feel so much lighter without the tension and negativity. Over time, this can really take its toll on all aspects of your life. It can even negatively impact your other relationships. some toxic people are controlling and manipulative, others can just require way too much effort, or it’s a very one sided friendship. You should have an idea of your own self worth, so should the people you choose to spend time with. Start spending time with the right people ~ These are the people you enjoy, who love and appreciate you, and who encourage you to improve in healthy and exciting ways. They are the ones who make you feel more alive, and not only embrace who you are now, but also embrace and embody who you want to be, unconditionally.

Make time for loved ones ~ We can get so caught up in work that we often prioritise it over relationships. However, relationships should be stimulated and built over time. A recent research study asked dying people what their regrets were, everyone stated their main regret was that they didn’t look after their relationships with loved ones, they should have tried a little harder, done a little more, given them more time. Time with loved ones can never be regained, only ever lost, so make the effort, make memories and have adventures. They are invaluable and wonderful.

Take these small changes, try them out and see what happens, your life will improve, your mood will improve and the world around you will follow suit. Make a change and enjoy it.






Author Info


A therapist and tutor for over 23 years, Victoria specialises in Relaxation and Wellbeing, Clinical Acupuncture, Holistic and Shamanic therapies.

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